21-year-old singer's incessant need to belt out her favorite songs in the car leads girlfriend to consider breakup after only 9 months, she even refuses to let her sing along: “It's not a duet”

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 16, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

I am a completely different person when I drive by myself versus when I drive other people around. When I am alone in my car, I am the empress of my perfectly chaotic domain. There is no evil, cold air emanating from the AC, even in the summer. I'm probably yapping out loud to myself like I'm in a talk show. There's all sorts of random, assorted music playing depending on my mood. 

However, as soon as someone steps foot in my car, I channel my inner Uber driver. I let them control the temperature; I put on one of my perfectly-curated Spotify playlists meant to be generally agreeable to just about anyone. I try to keep my mouth shut to give the impression that I am really concentrating on the task at hand.

Some people don't have the urge to change their driving habits when they're in chauffeur-mode. In our story today, a performer refuses to stop singing in the car long enough to have a conversation with her girlfriend. She won't even let her sing along! Scroll down for more. 

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  • 01

    AITA for asking my girlfriend to stop singing in the car?

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    Hi Reddit! I (F20) have been dating my girlfriend, let's call her Angie (F21), for about nine months now, and I genuinely adore her.
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  • 03
    She's kind, smart, funny, and just overall a wonderful person. I really do feel lucky to have her in my life. That said... she loves to sing. Like, all the time, but especially in the
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 04
    car. And to be clear, she's incredibly talented. She's done choir throughout school, she's a musical theatre major, and
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 05
    she truly has an amazing voice. Most of the time, I love hearing her sing and perform. It's something I admire about her cause god know I cant hold a tune to save my life.
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 06
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    However, when we're driving together, it honestly gets on my nerves. I don't mean every now and then, it's constant. For example, the other night we were driving
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  • 08
    home from a mutual friend's place. I put on some music in the background and started talking asking her about her day. As soon as there was a lull in the conversation, she
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 09
    turned the music up and started singing. I let it go for a song or two, but when turned it. back down and tried to resume the conversation, she gave me a one-word
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  • 10
    AF TA PTY a FM Rock Music MH:4 103,70 >> RADIO MEDIA (
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  • 11
    answer, turned it up and went right back to singing. This kind of thing happens all the time. I try not to be overly sensitive about it, but it makes me feel like she's not interested
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 12
    in talking to me. I've brought it up a couple of times, but she usually brushes it off and tells me that it just passes the time, which it does, for her...meanwhile I'm driving next to
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  • 13
    what feels like a brick wall. Sometimes I try to sing along, but she'll say something like "It's not a duet" in a joking way but I know she means it.
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728

  • Okay, so she likes the sound of her own voice. 

  • 14
    I really do love her, and I don't want to make her feel like she can't be herself around me but I also don't want to feel ignored every
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 15
    time we're in the car together. So am I the a h_le for wanting her to dial it back a bit in the car?
    via u/Particular_Bit_7728
  • 16
    rememberimapersontoo Sometimes I try to sing along, but she'll say something like "It's not a duet" in a joking way but I know she means it. this here makes you NTA 100%
    via u/rememberimapersontoo
  • 17
    she isn't singing to have fun or bring joy to the world. she just loves to hear her own voice and wants a captive audience. that's not cool
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  • 19
    rizaroni Ughhhh, I'm a singer but that line gave me the worst secondhand embarrassment. In
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  • 20
    general, I would never assume someone wanted to listen to me sing all the time, even if I have a good voice. OP is definitely NTA.
    via u/rizaroni
  • 21
    Lorrjones Oh boy. NTA. She cuts you off when you try to sing along by using the excuse "it's not a duet"?? A song doesn't have to be written as
    via u/Lorrjones

  • Most of the very first red flags don't become apparent until a few months into the relationship. It may not seem like a big deal (because it isn't on its own), but her behavior points to some other behavioral issues and narcissistic tendencies. 

  • 22
    a duet for people to enjoy singing together! People do it all the time whether it be on a road trip, at a concert, while cooking dinner, etc.
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  • 23
    Your girlfriend seems oblivious or really self centered. I'm thinking the latter as you've tried to communicate your needs and concerns. I'm sorry, but you two might not be compatible for the long run.
    via u/Lorrjones
  • 24
    seventhsealed Well, obviously a song doesn't have to be written as a duet for people to sing together. That's a given. The point is that she doesn't want her performance to be a duet. And she s ks because of it.
    via u/seventhsealed
  • 25
    Ok_Tonight_3703 NTA. Your girlfriend is giving life to the phrase "she loves hearing the sound of her own voice". She sounds self centered.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 26
    She needs to learn to read the room. Just because she has a nice voice doesn't mean that you or anyone else wants to hear it all
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  • 27
    the time. If it's you car you control the radio. No radio when you drive. The options are silence or conversation.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 28
    If she reacts negatively then she's not such a "wonderful person".
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 29
    Please think about what you wrote. "...I really do feel lucky to have her in my life...". I hope she feels luck to have you in her life. Don't ignore bad or r de behavior because you think a person a a great catch.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703

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boyfriend relationship advice Music annoying singing communication relationships girlfriend couples love breakup red flag healthy relationship dating entitled people
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